Stool Softener in My Ear

I have a long history of getting sick about every time I visit my parents. I have had massive ear infections, kidney stones, Urinary track infections, and morning sickness. So anyway, we were swimming in the hotel swimming pool in Twin Falls, Idaho, on Saturday, when my husband got a fun idea to to put a swimming noodle up to the water vent to make a hose of sorts. The kids were spraying everyone and having a blast. We'll, my little boy shot water right down into my left ear canal. It started hurting less than twenty minutes later. (it's important to note that my ear's are extremely jacked up and are very sensitive to things like this.)We did various things to get the water out including putting apple cider vinegar in my ear. (recommended by my brother the P.A. Apparently acidic acid is the main ingredient in prescription swimmers ear drops.) It didn't help with the pain but it did seem to pull out a lot of ear wax. My Mom decided to take me to the doctor this morning. The doctor told me my ear was full of ear wax and he sent someone in to irrigate my ear. This is where Fred enters the picture. Fred works at the IHC instacare at 94th and 7th east in Sandy Utah. He came in to irrigate my ear. I asked him if it would hurt and he said "Oh yes! it's going to hurt so incredibly bad, it will shoot strait through your eardrum. It's going to be the worst pain you have ever felt!" Presumably he was kidding but seriously, what a jerk. Then he said he just got off work at McDonald's and he was on work release from the Utah Valley Hospital. Again HA, HA, Fred. Then he said he was going to look in my ear to see if he could see through to the other side. This is when I asked him, "You do realize I am 28 and not 12, right?" My Mom and Fred thought that was pretty funny, but he did knock it off after that. He irrigated my ear and a gigantic piece of wax came out of my ear. Fred looked again and saw another big hunk saddled up to my ear drum. More irrigation. No luck. "Okay, we are going to have to soak it out," said Fred. Fred leaves and comes back with a bottle of liquid. "Now, what is that?" I asked as I layed down. Fred said "Colace." Not sure if he was kidding, I gave him a funny look. He said it really was stool softener and it works for this kind of stuff. So Fred puts it in my ear and leaves for 15 min. He comes back to irrigate AGAIN, by now it was starting to really hurt. Again, no luck. Fred leaves to get the Doctor and Doctor Elwood Longnecker (Yes! That's really his name!HE must have had some good nicknames when he was a kid.)tells me that our next option is antibiotic ear drops and that we can't dig it out because it is next to my eardrum. Great, so here I am in Utah, and I seriously can only hear the air conditioner. We went to wal-mart and I could hear the beeping of the cash registers in the back of the store. Too bad I couldn't hear my Mom who was standing next to me, yelling. So now you know about my gross earwax problem. I guess this was a long time coming.