Leslie's Wisdom

Always make sure the toilet seat is down before you sit.

Just because you could, doesn't mean you should.

Don't put all your ranking officer's in one shuttlecraft.

Tying a three year old to a chair is not an effective way to get him to swallow the food he has been holding in his mouth for over an hour.

It's a good idea to check your teeth for pepper before you leave the house for a social engagement.

Deal to the left, cut to the right.

Don't eat the really spicy food unless you are willing to pay for it later.

If someone asks you a direct question, give them a direct answer.

You can get a five year old to do about anything for a dime. Offer a dollar and her little head will spin.

If you want a good friend, be a good friend.

Quit whinning and just do it already.

Randomness

Brett Micheals was in KC MO last night. I really, really, really wanted to wrap a bandana around my husbands head, throw a cowboy hat on him, put a sock in his tight jeans, and put cowboy boots on his feet. Top off the look with a leather jacket and some eyeliner and make him walk around with his lips puffed out. That would have been awesome. Instead, I watched the finale of Rock Of Love 2 on VH1. Maybe for Halloween.


Lord of the Rings was on all day on saturday. I can apreciate the epic-ness of it all. However, if Lord of the Rings movies are too long, dark, violent, boring for you, try instead, Veggies Tales: The Lord of the Bean. Seriously the same movie, only much shorter. And with Bible Power.


I have had two Jazzercise instructors tell me that they watch me to remember what to do next. Do you think I should tell them that while I excercising I totally zone out and my body moves without me? I wouldn't want to disappoint anybody.

I don't like cutting potatoes. It bugs me.

Back in the Day

This is my family in 1985. At least I'm guessing it's 1985 based on the size of my little brother. That would make me 5. I think I have more makeup on in this picture than I usually do as an adult. Look at me, I have the reddest lips in the picture. I guess for an '80's Olan Mills family photo, it's not so bad. Good job Mom, you didn't make us look like total geeks. I especially like the pink/burgundy color scheme with the brown background. Classic.

The Saga of the Lost Flash Drive

So a week ago Monday, I left my flash drive in a computer in one of the classrooms up at the college. I didn't even notice. Tuesday, at about 3 pm, I was rudely woken up from a badly needed nap. This is how the conversation went:

Me: Hello?(Yes, I actually answered.)
Girl: Hi! Is this Leslie?
Me: Uh, yes it is.
Girl: I found your flash drive in one of the labs in the RC building.
Me: Uh, what? My flash drive? You did? huh.
Girl: You can pick it up at RC 133.
Me: RC 133?
Girl: Yes, just ask one of the lab aides.
Me: Okay, thanks?
Girl: you're welcome. Bye.

I was caught so off guard by this call and I was half asleep. I didn't make it up to the college until Friday. I had a few minutes before my Algebra test and I thought I would go find RC 133. Just one problem: There is no RC 133. It doesn't exist. Okay, I'll just run up to the main computer lab and ask them. Surly one of them would know where they send lost flash drives. Here is how the conversation went:

Me: (I was breathing hard because I had just ran up two flights of stairs)Hi! I don't know if you can help me,(gasp) but I received a phone call from a girl (gasp)telling me to come get my flash drive at RC 133, (gasp)but I don't think it exist, do you know where I might find it?
Middle aged lady: RC 133? That would be on the first floor.
Me: There is no RC 133, that is why I am asking you. DO you have any suggestion on where I might look? The girl told me to just ask a lab aide.
Lady:(To man behind her) This girl was told to find her flash drive in RC 133.
The Man: RC 133? That would be on the first floor.
Me: RC 133 does not exist. I must have misunderstood her. Do you have any unclaimed flash drives here?
Man: We usually leave flash drives in the classroom they are found in.
Me: Okay thanks. (For nothing)

So now I start to worry. Oh well, the guy said they leave them in the classroom. Probably, it is sitting in the chalk tray with my name written on the board telling everyone that I am Sofa King We Todd did. So Monday rolled around and I go to my class. Again I ran up the stairs to class and ask the professor about my flash drive. She wants me to go to the computer lab. I had already done that and they were worthless. So she wants me to go clear across campus to the CC building and talk to the security office. Okay fine. I walk over after class. The cute boy at the security office at least acted like he wanted to help even if he couldn't. He looked and looked though. So still I have no flash drive. Crap. I guess all I can do is wait for another phone call. At least I knew the school had it somewhere and some random person didn't just take it.

I waited two days and got the phone call yesterday. This time, I made sure I knew exactly where to go. My flash drive made it clear across campus into a computer lab I had no idea existed without me. My flash drive has seen more of the college campus than I have. Anyway the guy who had it wouldn't even smile at me. There I was all gushing over how excited I was when he called me, and he didn't even smile. I'm sure he thought Iwas a retard. I was thinking that too.

When I got home, I decided to check the contents on the flash drive. I found a folder labeled MY STUFF that I had never seen before. I open it up and some poor sap named David Freeman saved a report for his Business Philosophy class on my flash drive. I bet he didn't even notice. I just imagine some poor 19 year old kid looking for his report and it is no where to be found. I guess that is why my computer teacher was so adamant about checking the location of your save before you hit the save button. At least now I know that I am not the only idiot running around JCCC. Me and David, we are quite a pair.

Sometimes

Sometimes, I think I'm crazy.

Sometimes, I think I'm married to Brett Michels.

Sometimes, I watch myself sing at the top of my lungs in the mirror.

Sometimes, I get really sad over the state of affairs in my husband's family.

Sometimes, I wish I was Wolverine.

Sometimes, I go back to bed after the kids leave for school.

Sometimes, I really don't want to exercise, but I do it anyway.

Sometimes, my daughter asks me so many questions, I think my head is going to explode.

Sometimes, I buy smashed pennies off ebay.

Sometimes, I think I'm the only one who puts anything in the garbage can.

Sometimes, I just don't answer the phone, Cause I don't wanna.

Sometimes, I want to leave Kansas very badly.

Sometimes, I love Kansas so much, I can't imagine living anywhere else.

Sometimes, my little boy says "Big Hug!" and gives me a big ol bear hug and a big slobbery kiss, then he says "awwww! I la you!"

My awesome lamp.

This is my new/old lamp. My grandparents had a lamp just like this. It currently resides at my sisters house. Unfortunately, her lamp is missing pieces, it's falling apart. But we LOVE it. Why? Uhm....well....it's cute, and it belonged to my grandparents. I bullied my husband into stoping at a thrift store ran by some Catholics a few weeks ago. I was just walking through because you know, I love junk. And then suddenly there it was. I gasped, was it real? I had never seen another one of these lamps EVER, yet here it was, not broken and still working. It cost me $25 dollars. I put it in my bedroom and it makes me happy.

The original UGLY shirt.

So here it is, the legendary original, ugly shirt. It was a random day and I was walking through Walmart. This beauty caught my eye. I had to have, it was so ugly! And yes, I actually did wear it for awhile. My sister in law had the same shirt in tan. It wasn't so bad. I told her my shirt was uglier than hers and she was offended. What?? I offended my sister in law? Yeah, THAT never happens....