My wonderful husband and the poop on the wall

Can I just take a moment and say that I love my husband? I got so sick a few days ago and he took care of business! He ran to get food for the babies, he even went and bought a box of tampons! Gotta love a man who is willing to do that. Then to top it off, my 3yr old decided to paint the wall in his sister's room with poop. She was very disgusted and harassed her Daddy until he cleaned it up. So here's to a man who will buy tampons and clean poop off a wall. I LOVE YOU!

Utah Vs. Kansas

Hello everyone! Yes, I will stop playing with the color of the text. It didn't look so good did it? Today is the day of my husband's family reunion. This is the reunion that we are invited to but not really welcome to. Even though we are not welcome, people still think they have to harass us the day before the reunion with phone calls. We were expecting them. You know those messages where they start out with this crap about seeing how you were cause it's "been awhile" and then all of a sudden they say something like "and I wanted to see if your going to the reunion tomorrow and what your feelings are on that." OOOHHH! The REAL reason why you called!!! Don't these people know how obvious they are? Really, we think, they are looking for some sort of info to twist and turn into whatever they want to spread to the vultures. I don't know why people can't just let things be. Why would you try to poke into peoples business like that? I really don't understand. Hmmm.. dysfunction! All right, enough venting about the in-laws.

I moved from Utah in January of 2001. (See the lovely photo of my soon-to-be husband's car with all my stuff in it?) I had lived there my whole life. I liked it. I grew up in a great neighborhood with lots of kids and there was always something to do. In Utah, everyone knows there neighbor. I think mostly because of the Mormon church. In Kansas, no one really pays attention to there neighbors. My husband's grand-father died a few years back. Grandma said that only one neighbor even seemed to notice. Isn't that so sad? I am a waver. Meaning I wave at everyone. I have waved at some of my neighbors for over a year now and they just glare at you like your stupid. C'mon people!! Just smile and wave! I'm not asking you to make me a cup of coffee! I actually have finally started getting waves from one chick. I was so shocked the first time she waved. See? I wore her down. I forced her to acknowledge me with my persistent friendly neighborliness. Yeah! I'm awesome! Of course, climate is definitely different here in Kansas. The humidity, the whole no mountain thing (what the heck is that about anyway?), the insects, the chiggers. If you don't know what chiggers are you are lucky!! They live in the grass and are too little to see them. They love warm places and elastic. They burrow into your skin and it burns and itches like crazy. A walk across the grass and your panty lines are filled with them. It is the most exquisite itchiness you will ever experience. I recommend everyone do this once. Just so you know and remember...Stay Off The Grass!!! In Utah I spent my childhood on the most luscious, greenest, lawns. They were beautiful! How I long to lie on someones lawn and relax! A few years ago on Halloween night, I told my husband to fetch the pumpkins and bring them in before the "kids" steal them and smash them on the road. Now, I thought this a perfectly reasonable request. After all, I spent years watching my parents have the same conversation. However, instead of complying with my request, he acted like he didn't know what I was talking about. (my husband is a native Kansan and has lived here almost his entire life.) Then it dawned on me. "Don't the teenagers steal pumpkins and smash them on the road for fun here?" NO!! They really don't! I still can't believe it! I guess the kids in Utah aren't all drinking and partying like they are here in Kansas. They have to come up with creative ways to have fun. Take for instance the time we toilet papered someones house at 7pm on Sunday night while we watched them watch there TV. Or throwing water balloons at cars passing by and then running like hell. Ah, good times, good times. So there are many differences between these two fabulous places and I love them both. In Utah you say, "Stupid Idaho drivers!" and in Kansas you say "Stupid Missouri drivers!" That's different. People in Utah are beautiful and mostly blond. But in Kansas people seem to have no common sense and they all smoke. And it's not unusual to see people walking around without there teeth. THE END.

Another day, another pile of laundry!

This was an exciting morning! My 3yr old peed in the potty! And then he did it again when he got home from school!!! Hooray! I totally did the potty dance too! I have 3 friends who have recently potty trained their little boys. As you can imagine, our conversations have been consisting of lots of potty talk. One of my better friends has a masters degree. Our last conversation was about her son pooping in the potty all week. Did you ever think when you were a teenager that you would ever reach a time in your life where potty talk was a conversational highlight? I'm not sure what to think really. It's kind of an uncomfortable topic for me. Usually I just laugh when I am told potty training stories. Nobody else seems to have a problem sharing potty stories. Maybe I should just join in too. By the way I started this post, I'm half way there!

So I think I did one load of laundry last week so I have a "mountain" to climb today. I will get it done!! Sometimes I wonder why we need so many clothes. Maybe I should teach my kids to do there own laundry. 5 and 3 isn't too young,right? Seriously, I think I started doing my own laundry at 8. Every time I hear a story about a teenager or an adult who doesn't know how to do there own laundry I get so mad!! I don't even think Mom taught me how to sort the clothes. I think she just threw me in there to figure it out. Anyway, the point is that I don't like laundry!!

By the way... The Chiefs totally kicked ass last night! GO CHIEFS!

Sunday Morning

Ah! Another Sunday morning! Another Sunday morning that I did not go to church. Usually I feel a little guilty. Other times I feel a lot guilty. Growing up in a very strong Mormon household, I was expected to go every week. Mostly I hated it. You have to get up early and make yourself pretty. This usually resulted in a fight or two over the bathroom. Now that I think about it, I've got some good Sunday morning stories. One week when I was 16 or 17, I went to put on my makeup and it was not there. I turn to my sister, "Lisa where is my makeup?" Lisa says "Oh! I took it to work with me yesterday, it is in my car." I say " Well go get it!" Lisa says " No! It's your makeup! You go get it!" I say " Lisa! I'm in my underwear! You took it without asking and YOU should go get it!" So about now mom intervenes as our voices were getting quite loud now. Mom says " Leslie! Just go get your makeup and shut up!" (MOM never sided with me EVER! I was pushed to the ground once by my brother who is 7 years older than me and was in his twenties and Mom yelled at me!) So by now I am so angry there was probably smoke coming out my ears. I didn't even bother to put on clothes. With my Mom and sister watching with mouths hanging open, I marched right out the front door to the street were the red Ford Tempo was parked and grabbed my makeup. Yep, in my underwear. I'm not sure what I was trying to prove. I guess I was just really mad. My sister thought it was pretty funny actually. She said she was going to tell her kids about this one. Whatever! I'll tell them you were the meanest big sister ever and I still have psychological damage because of it! Jeez! Another time, when I was living with my divorced brother and his little boy would come every other weekend. It was time for me to shower and get ready for church. I go to MY bathroom and my brother had left my nephew in the tub just playing. I ask my brother to get him out so I won't be late for church. He says that I shouldn't wait to the last minute to get ready and that it is not his fault I will be late. Whatever!!! This was my bathroom! He had his own bathroom and shouldn't have been him who should not of waited to the last minute to get HIS kid ready for church in MY bathroom?! Anyway, long story short, I ended up kicking a hole in the wall and living at my BFF's house for a week or more. (Luv ya Val!) I guess in general, Sunday's are not my favorite day. I usually wake up mad. Really I think I'm mad that I feel guilty for not going to church. I usually have intentions to go but it doesn't usually work out. For me to go to church here in Kansas, I have to drive 30min south to Ottawa, Kansas. I know! Excuses! Excuses! I guess I'm just not motivated. Sometimes though, you just have to do things you don't want to do. I decided that's what it means to be an adult. Doing things you don't want to do. My 5yr old daughter is obsessed with growing up. She is forever saying "When I grow bigger, like you, I will....." (the other night at dinner she said she wouldn't say the word "poop" any more like a little kid. How funny is that?) I just want to explain that it is not fun being a grownup! But you know, I didn't believe it when I was a kid either. Anyway, this post is getting a little long so I'll leave at that. And don't worry, today won't be all bad! I get to watch the Chiefs game today! GO CHIEFS!

Al Gore

In the news this week: Al Gore wins the Nobel Peace Prize! Wow! I am really excited about that. Now before you roll your eyes and think "Here we go, another political sermon.." let me explain why. Al Gore is like the girl on that stupid show that I don't watch called the "Bachlor" that makes it to the final 2 and is really confident that she won. Then she is sent home in a limo crying. Blindsided! Isn't that what happened to Al Gore in that presidential election that drove us all crazy? So what does Al do? He goes home to lick his wounds and gets really fat. Then one day, he probably looks at himself and doesn't recognize what he sees in the mirror. He has had enough! He's gonna go out there and do something to make America stand up and notice him. His big idea? Let's make a movie! An inconvenient Truth. I have not seen it. I want to though. I mentioned it to my Dad, he bristles and you could see the hair rising on his neck. He turned a shade of red/purple. (Dad is definitly a republican. One time when I was a teenager I made a comment that Dad thought was democratic and when I woke up the next morning there was a big note for me that explained why the Democrats were ruining the world! I'm not kidding!) So what happens? (Were back to Al now.) He wins an Academy Award. Way to go Al! Way to stick it to lil' George! George is not going to win an Academy Award. David makes fun of him every night on Letterman. I watch it religiously. (My favorite was when they showed a montage of Bush falling down and slapping his wife's butt! It was hilarious! I woke up my husband because I was laughing so hard. I wish he would have seen it!) Then Al wins the Nobel Peace Prize! Brilliant! George W. will NEVER win that! Al should feel really good about himself. Who's the loser now, George?!!

Content

I know posting everyday is a little excessive but I feel like I need to give my readers something to read. Something to keep them coming back for more!!! Alright! Alright! No one reads my blog! My husband would say I'm having delusions of grander. A girl can dream right? Something I thought was funny... Last night at dinner my little girl who is 5 looks at me and says, "That's a really nice shirt mom!" Then my husband says, "Yeah, it's classy!" I was about to say, "Wow! Thanks you guys!" when I look down and remember I'm wearing my old Rainbow Brite t-shirt. I guess a 5yr old would think that it is a nice shirt. Then I realize that my husband wasn't being sweet at all, He was being very sarcastic! Should a 27yr old not wear Rainbow Brite on her t-shirt? What about Pepe Le pew from Looney tunes or Raggedy Ann? I have shirts with them on it too. I have a pair of Eeyore, Snow White, and Tinkerbell pjs. Is that so wrong? Should my wardrobe grow up? Ofcourse, I don't wear these things everyday.
Is it my fault that these clothing items get put on clearance therefore making themselves irresitible to me? I never pay full price for anything. Clearance is another way of saying, "Leslie! You have to buy me now! Ha!" I don't think I got this from my mother. If we leave a store having not bought anything, she would say "Oh!I saved so much money!" Mom is so funny. She has a lot of one liners that I've been hearing for years. Say you came late to dinner. Mom would say "We waited for you like one pig waits for another." Or you try to make a disreet exit from the bathroom, Mom would say "Did everything come out okay?" My little brother would never get out of bed to go to school, Mom would say, "Get out of bed now or I'll get on you like ugly on Willy Nelson!" That is my favorite. But enough about Mom. You know, this isn't what I was going to post about today. Why do I even think about what I'm going to put in my blog? I sit down and it just happens. My brain opens and this is what falls out. I hope you enjoy!!!

The History Channel

So, I think I have a new nemisis. The history channel. Let me explain. I love the history channell when there is something on that I'm interested in. I like history as much as the next person. It was one of my favorite classes in high school. When my husband insisted he get cable when I got the internet I didn't think much of it. Little did I know he would only watch one channel! That's right the history channel! Can I tell you that I hate watching shows about stupid crazy weapons that were used in the world wars! Or how about those shows that reenact pirates on the high seas? That is entertainment my friend! Not really! I think they make it all up! So now I don't ever get to watch primetime tv. Now I have to watch a show about a town in europe where they built the titanic. Why do I care how the builders of a ship that sunk over a hundred years ago lived? Maybe they should of hired a better ship designer. We watched a show about the history of sex. What??? They had sex in the olden days too? I had no idea! I guess this is just my lot in life. At least till my husband moves on to another channel. What if I have to watch Bodog fighting all time next. That would be excruciating. Maybe I should be glad he's not watching Spike tv or some pornography channel. I guess the history channel doesn't seem so bad next to those stations. And besides, he could be making me watch the weather channel.....